Back in the States, Start in Seattle

I'm back! I can't believe it's been over a year since I stepped on American soil. I've seen so many things while away, and lived such a different lifestyle that things that seem so normal over here now seem foreign to me. Do you notice how many over weight people are walking around this country? I do! Do you stare at people with blond, and red hair? I've been staring at those people like they've got two heads lately. Is it me or are there homeless people asking you for money on every corner? That's what it feels like to me, and they're not even trying to sell you souvenirs. What about young Asian American kids who speak perfect English? Boy does that one throw me for a loop. After traveling Asia I espet ebery persum of Ashan decent to have a wittle dipperent speaking style, but then a 10 year old tells me "I am pleased to meet you, and I'd love to chat but I have to work on my calculus homework." I feel like a kid again. All things look new, and all things taste new. noo one ever told me that the food tastes better when you get back home. All the things I'd been craving early in my trip to Korea, but then forgot about after I settled in, all taste like I'm eating them for the first time in my life all over again. I've announced to others that "these are the best oranges ever!", "the chicken sandwich at that bar was amazing!", "I haven't had a bowl of cereal this good in my life!" and the list goes on: Strawberries, pasta, burgers, fries, etc... they all taste amazing. It's as if my taste buds were let out of prison and are enjoying the freedoms they once took for granted. But the food is just our regular, ordinary, run of the mill American food. Usually drenched in grease, salt, or butter, and you know what I realized? I love it. But it's not just that. American food has tons of "extras". You don't eat a ham sandwich. You eat a ham sandwich with lettuce, tomato, cheese, salt, pepper, mustard, and mayonnaise. Those little add ons are the things I didn't realize I had been missing, but now I can't help but recognize them and thank god for them every time I bight into my sweet sweet American food. I've heard some people say that when returning back to the states they felt the food tasted "artificial" and didn't like it after a year of eating natural and healthy food in Korea, but I'm here to tell you that there is nothing artificial tasting about a flame grilled burger, and when you deprive yourself of them for 13 months, your sensory system starts doing cartwheels when you reintroduce them. I've basically been on a high every breakfast, lunch and dinner since getting back, who needs drugs when you have a fat juicy steak?

Where was I? Oh yeah, Seattle. I had been wanting to visit Seattle for a while because my brother Kevin moved there a few years ago. So I figured why not now while I'm not tied down. I can fly into Seattle and then make my way back across the states stopping wherever and seeing whatever I want. I'd never traveled America and once you get to KOREA and people ask you about famous American sights, in my own country, and I have to say "I don't know, I haven't been there" they kind of look at you like your crazy. I mean who travels around the world to KOREA without seeing their own country first? I guess I do, but I think I appreciated America's beauty and differences a little more this way. So, anyway, that was the plan. Fly into Seattle, and travel across the country. Sounds pretty well thought out huh? Yeah it wasn't. Where do I start?

My flight from Hong Kong was basically one of the worst experiences of my life. Somewhere in between my snorkeling, volcano hiking, and villa living in Bali I was bitten by a super powered Indonesian spider. Not unlike the spider of the famous Marvel comic book "Spiderman" but instead of giving me super powers it gave me a super swollen, itchy forehead. I was so uncomfortable, I wanted to scratch my face off, but I had to sit in an airplane seat for 10 hours and try and look normal even though I looked like Hasim Rahman after his fight with Evander Holyfield. I did actually make it without going insane, and when I stepped out of the Seattle airport I realized my first mistake. I had packed my backpack for over a month of travel in Sunny Australia, warm Hong Kong, and tropical Bali. The cold misty breeze of Seattle rain was not something my short, t-shirt, and sandal wearing self was prepared for. After all of my brothers stories about hiking, boats, and other outdoor activities in Seattle I just kind of figured it was warm...I am an idiot.

So as if that wasn't enough, the icing on the cake would be that the first full day I spent in America in over a year was spent in the Seattle Washington Emergency Room. A real welcome spending that special day with some of America's finest in an over crowded waiting room while I was still in a case of extreme discomfort. The doctors didn't have a clue, and I couldn't help them much. Before the bump got all on steroids I just thought it was a mosquito bight. They gave me strong antibiotics and medicine for the itch and told me to pray. I was bed ridden in my brothers apartment for the next week. I considered buying a plane ticket to my parents home in Tennessee and canceling the whole trip. I don't know why I didn't do it, but I'm so thankful I decided against it.

I did come out of my funk, with only a few scars. I have less eye lashes today than before my trip, and a small section of the top of my head is missing, but overall I think having a permanant reminder of not giving up on something you want to do isn't such a terrible thing.

Seattle turned out to be a blast. My brother has a bunch of awesome friends out there, who I'm lucky to feel like they are kind of my friends now too. The city is pretty, has lots of things to do, yet also keeps a sort of homey feel. I walked around the city, went hiking, saw some sights, spent some time with some cool people, watched the NCAA Tournament Finals (Oh glorious March Madness), and saw a tulip festival. This was the first stop on a long American journey and it had it's road bumps but overall I'm so glad I persevered through it. I loved seeing my brother and his wife out there. They really love Seattle, and I loved being there with them. Also, the food wasn't bad either :)

Check it out...you know the drill.

Bali Blow Out!!!

Walking off of the plane in Bali a man met us at the gate. At the plane's gate, not the standard "International Entrance" area that everyone else walks through and gets surrounded by drivers or signs. I found this a bit strange but it set the tone for how we were going to be treated real fast. This same man streamlined our visa process and got us and our bags out of the airport as fast as possible.

Then we reached the parking lot, and the second clue to how things were going to go down popped up... there were two vans waiting for us. Yup, six people, two vans. One was for us and the other for our luggage. As we entered them the AC was pumped high and was at least 50 degrees cooler than the humid outside weather. As the driver began to take us to our Villa I started feeling uncomfortable about the whole process. Did I need to be treated so specially? Could I not have waited in line at the airport like everyone else? Could I not ride with my own bag? Shouldn't I have? It began to dawn on me that I may have become a "backpacker". Someone who doesn't enjoy spending money on travel, but the excitement comes from finding the best deals while traveling. Not having things taken car of for you, but you find a way to take care of yourself. This was sinking in as the air conditioning gave me the chills, during a day of 90 degree humidity, and those chills made me start regretting my idea to travel with my brother and some of our other friends. It was a bad feeling, I actually started thinking that the vacation was going to be a failure, and in essence felt as if it already was. I had made the wrong decision, I saw it now, but had two weeks still to live through it. What had I done!?

Then the van turned in front of a huge gate, the gate opened, we drove down a beautiful entryway, got out, had our luggage carried inside to our rooms for us, and only steps after entering the doorway there were three servants holding trays of fresh squeezed juices, orderves, and fruit. Behind them was the pool and the rest of the Villa that looked like as one person put it, "a house on the show Real World". In just about 15 steps from the van to the entryway I realized I was an idiot, and that I loved having the best of things. Who doesn't? Granted I know it won't last but Bali was the perfect opportunity to live it up and that's what we did.

Meals that could feed small nations were prepared for us by our own cooking staff. Our laundry dissapeared from our hampers and returned folded on our beds daily. We lounged by the pool, walked the beach, and got hour massages in the city for $5 dollars. We were treated like Kings and Queens and if I could do it again I'd jump at it in a second. The week at the Villa was such a high style of living I've never experienced anything like it, but I'm glad I have now.

One week was spent at the villa and another one was spent traveling around Bali. Both were great in there own ways. Check out the pictures if you want to see more.

The Land of Oz

What better to take the sting out of leaving Korea than a trip down to Australia to see some old friends? I didn't think there was anything, so I left Korea to visit Jimmy, who moved to Australia about 8 months earlier. He lives in Sydney and two other great friends, Chris and Joe, also decided to take this perfect opportunity to visit Sydney at the same time. You never expect schedules to work out like this, but as we found out, luck was on our side.

Sydney was a beautiful city. Just flying in on the plane I started becoming jealous of Jimmy and his location choice for ex-patriot living. I did love Korea, but I'm not about to tell anyone that it has great weather. I became so used to the grey ski, so used to cloud cover, and by the time I left I didn't even really notice China's "yellow dust" that blows over anymore. Well the crystal clear sky, warm sun, cool breeze, and white puffy clouds of Sydney quickly made me remember all the things I've been missing. It made me realize that there is some innate connection between people and the condition of the weather. I can have a good time on a rainy day, but seeing the sun shining already makes it a great day, and it was shining the entire time I was Australia.

As soon as I walked off of the plane I realized I was in a different world than the one I had become accustomed to in Asia. Just feet from the plane's gate there was a man on a microphone announcing the duty free deals of the day. That alone was something I've never seen or heard before, but there were other parts of it that made it stand out even more to me because I'd been living in Korea for a year, like he was announcing in ENGLISH! There were also lots of women with bright blond hair walking around. People looked taller than me. It seemed like there were obese people everywhere, and while all those things reminded me of America, everyone sounded like Crocodile Dundee, just to remind me I wasn't home yet. All the little differences seemed to stand out so brightly to me. The things I had gone a year without seeing were normal everyday things to you, but nice little surprises to me.

After arriving a few minutes before Joe at the airport we both took a taxi ride to Jimmy's apartment, in Woolloomooloo, to meet up with Jim and Chris. *Note to other travelers: There is no tipping in Australia, so don't listen to the taxi driver if he tells you there is, he's just being an Ass* Seeing Jim, Chris, and Jimmy's girlfriend Erin was really nice. I always thought that being apart from friends would somehow make it seem different when you met up again, but it's not. As soon as we saw each other it was like we were never apart. We still looked the same, acted the same, told the same jokes, and referenced Seinfeld episodes as much as ever. Even though I've been missing Seinfeld reruns for a year, I can still remember them pretty well.

We spent the first few days of the trip hanging out, catching up, barbecuing, seeing Jimmy's office, Sydney's streets and sights, and yelling lines from Gladiator at Russel Crow's mansion. It was everything I'd hoped for. But we did have one big trip planned, the 3 day excursion to Fraser Island. It's off the east coast of Australia and it's the largest all sand island in the world. Now what does that mean, "all sand island"? I wondered the same thing when I read it, but it means there is no rock formations, no roads, and that the ground beneath you will always be some type of sand while you're there. That is a little more understandable to imagine, but there are areas of the island that look like beach front (obviously), desert oasis, and rain forest. A rain forest growing out of the desert is something I had to see to believe.

Fraser Island was exactly what the type of thing I was looking for. It is a vacation spot, but you don't just sit around. There are no hotels, no spa's, or resorts, it forces you to have an adventure, and in a place that at times looks like it could be another planet. There are only sand roads that and they go up and down like crazy. Driving is part of the adventure because it's dangerous. You have to be worried not to crash the car as you're going over humpty-doodles (sand mounds), and crossing washouts, or just getting the car stuck in deep sand (like we did 4 times). I have no hesitation saying that the four guys from Jersey highly underestimated the seriousness of journey we had embarked on.

We planned out our route as we went along, bought food at the last minute for rock bottom prices, didn't realize we had no way to light the grill until almost nigh fall, thought we didn't have poles to set up the tent, couldn't find a campsite that we were legally able to camp in, found out we couldn't make a fire outside of the campsites that didn't allow us in, couldn't stomach the food we did buy, didn't bring Pepto-Bismol, didn't know how to dig a truck out of the sand, didn't bring enough lights, and I'm sure the list goes on but I'm starting to feel like I'm making us out to be a bunch of idiots. The thing is, none of this really effected the entirety of the trip at all. We were able to see more spots on that island than anyone else I've talked to that has visited there. Getting stuck was part of the adventure, running into a Dingo or two made things more exciting, the bad food made us feel like we were roughin' it, we found matches, and the tent poles, and made due without a fire. We were a bunch of idiots, but luck was just on our side.









On Fraser Island we went to a white sand, clear water lake that was empty. Yup, easily one of the most beautiful beaches I had ever been on, and it was deserted. Not a single person showed up in the entire afternoon we were there. Of course we played football in the white sand, if you know us you could have guessed that, but it was perfect. We walked in areas that felt like the desert. Saw lakes that seemed to be coming right out of the desert. Bathed in areas of water along the shores that bubbled up when the waves hit the rocks segregating them, earning them the name of the "Champagne Pools". We also climbed to beautiful lookout points, hiked cool trails, saw strange animals, drove on the beach, camped in the wild, and all around had an experience that none of us could have imagined.







After the trip to Fraser Island we thought the best of the trip was behind us. How could it get any better than beaches, fresh water lakes as blue as the sky, white sand, Champagne pools? Well no one saw this one coming but a night at the Sydney Casino turned out to be the one night of this trip none of us would ever forget.

Annyeonghi Kaseyo (Goodbye in Korean)

It seems like a month ago when I saw the countdown to Karl's arrival hit Nonuple zeros (nine zeros), but in actuality it's just been an action packed week. It's hard to believe that my best friend has already come and gone to the other side of the world to see me, but he has. I put Karl on a bus to the airport just yesterday, and I'm glad to say that I got an email confirming his safe arrival back in Dirty Jersey just hours ago.

But since the day he arrived in Seoul I hadn't had a chance to blog so there is a lot to catch up on. Palace's, parties, club night, birthdays, New Years, Seoul Tower, shopping, bus rides, subway rides, ball pits, and just saying "eating" as a topic doesn't give what we did the justice it deserves.

I was right when I said "Capt'n Karl is here...and he's all business." He came knowing that he had only one week to experience everything Korea had to offer so we had to get right to work. But I wanted Karl to see not only what Korea had to offer but what my experience in Korea has been like too. So the night he arrived I took him to a local restaurant where my friends joined us for what most foreigners consider their favorite Korean dish, Daeji Galbi. Daeji Galbi is barbecued pork ribs, and pretty much everyone likes them in Korea.

After dinner we headed to my apartment for some after dinner drinks and what was supposed to be a calm first night, for Karl to recover from his flight, turned into a
full blown welcoming party.

Karl got his first tastes of Korean alcohol; Soju, Macoli, and the local beers, Cass, Hite, and OB. Plus, he also got introduced to his KING SIZED BED that I got for him to sleep on while he was here. It was an all around good night. But it was just night number one. Take a look and check back soon for updates.

Merry Christmas Partay

A few weeks ago Mr. Kim talked Rachel into having a Christmas party at my house (thanks Rachel). Well, on the last Friday before Christmas I threw what was supposed to be a huge Christmas celebration with all of our teacher friends in Korea. But apparently Rachel and I don't have that many friends.

We had the bright idea of making special holiday invitations. Rachel drew them up, and had a fellow teacher translate them into Korean; we were making every effort to have this party be a blast. I did most of the handing out at school and teachers faces just light up like they were getting asked out to Prom by the quarterback of the football team (or the head cheerleader, depending upon who I was giving them too). Nearly everyone I handed them out to said yes on the spot. But because I'm super anal I still had Rachel add on a tear off portion of the invitation that said "yes" I will be coming, or "no" I will not be coming. This was to try and avoid getting too much food, or having no one show up. Well after all of our precautions, that's exactly what happened.

We bought a ton of food, planning for over thirty people to show up, in the end we barely got to twenty, and that was with a few people who responded "no" coming. Tons of food went bad. My principal regifted the present I gave to him from my trip to France, people showed up late, and left early.

Now, with all of those "less-than-spectacular" events going down, you would think the whole event was a wash, but it wasn't. Somehow, with the help of Alex and Jeff, we salvaged the night and gave some people a night they would never forget.

First off, for example, my mother. This night in Korea happened to also be the birthday morning of my mother in Tennessee. Almost 10 Koreans, 2 Iowa boys, a Bostonian and myself sang Happy Birthday to my mom over webcam. It was a surprise to her, and I think it went over well. It made everyone's night at the party too. Honestly without this webcam call, the night would have never gotten to its feet. My coworkers loved seeing my parents, and everyone kind of fell in love with the idea when I told them about it.

Two other young Korean ladies, Jinjew, and Jenny will also always remember this night because it was their first "house party" (or apartment party, whatever) that they ever went to. Apparently in Korea this type of thing isn't that common among young people. I'm guessing it's because young people usually live with there parents until they're married, and places in Korea are usually quite small for parties, but either way they had a new and fun experience.

Overall, I'm really, REALLY thankful for all the people who did come. Honestly, I just hope everyone had a good time and I think most of us did. To those that couldn't make it, I keep hearing that it's just "Korean culture" to say "yes" when invited, but it was a bitter pill to swallow when you didn't show up. I guess it's the thought that counts though. Either way, I'd like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Birthday (mom), and last but not least, a Happy Festivus.

BREAKING NEWS: Korean Doctors Study Shows "Kimchi Cures Death"

Unbelievable as it may seem, Korea has been sitting on the answer to life's nagging little problem, death, for thousands of years, but has shared their secret with no one outside of this little peninsula. Today I will break the silence and divulge to the rest of the world what Korea knows to be true.

The secret to immortality isn't found in some fantastical, story book fountain or potion, it doesn't come from the bite of your everyday vampire, and it certainly doesn't come from some outlandish story about drinking from a "holy grail" (where do we come up with this stuff?). Nope, while those crazy ideas have absolutely no basis in reality, science, or fact, Korea knows what truly brings eternal life... 3 daily servings of Kimchi.

Right about now you're probably scratching your head thinking "what's this crazy concoction called Kimchi?". Or if your Korean, and powers of English alliteration lag slightly, your probably just nodding your head with agreement and pride, while gulping down some homemade Kimchi. Kimchi is fermented cabbage (sometimes radish or other vegetables) made with a mix of garlic, salt, vinegar, chili peppers, and spices. It is a reddish color but countless different types exist because of the varying choices of vegetable, and amounts of seasonings that can be added. However, this accepted definition of Kimchi doesn't even come close to telling the whole truth (and nothing but the truth so help me Kimchi) about this ancient culinary delight.

Where do I start? First, some ideology:

A few posts back I commented about American life being one in the same with American Football, you can not tell the two apart. Well, in Korea they don't have football, they have Kimchi. In one of my Korean history books page one starts with Kimchi, and pictures of Kimchi appear on pages 1 through 3. Korea has a Kimchi museum (see the picture).It has been around for nearly 3000 years, eaten and written about in ancient scribes (probably at the same time). Some stories tell of it parting the Yellow sea so Koreans could leave China, while other stories have it at the center of the big bang theory. It is so ingrained with Korean lifestyle that when posing for pictures they say "Kimchi" to get themselves to smile.

Now some facts:

Kimchi is served with every meal. That's right, breakfast, lunch and dinner; Kimchi, Kimchi, Ka-ka-Kimchi, Yum! So if your from America, we can compare it to eating, well, nothing. Nobody eats something for nearly every meal of their entire life, in America. But imagine McDonald's fries had health benefits, there, it's something like that. Most Korean families make their own Kimchi. Koreans consume on average about 40lbs of Kimchi a year, and after some research I found that the average Korean weighs 40 pounds, making them not entirely carbon based life forms but partially Kimchi based side dishes.

Health Benefits:

After living in Korea for over 8 months now, I've come to realize that nearly all Korean foods are "good for stamina", so says Korean men. But Kimchi isn't like other foods, while being good for stamina, bragging about that would be like Micheal Jordan bragging that he can dunk on one of those little plastic children's basketball hoops. More impressively, it's loaded with vitamins A, B, and C, fibers and minerals such as calcium, thiamine, riboflavin and iron, it helps digestion, may delay the skin aging process, prevents yeast infections, retards cancer growth, protects against SARS, and most recently, DEATH.

All jokes aside, Kimchi is has been voted as one of the top 5 healthiest foods on the planet. I copied and pasted almost all of those health benefit facts above from reputable health websites. All Koreans and most ex-pats living in Korea end up loving it, and can't live without it. I'm sure Kimchi is a main reason why Koreans are so thin and healthy. That being said, I still can't stomach the stuff... but I didn't want to live forever anyway.
Don't wish me dead like Rachel is in this picture. I'm happy to make jokes about a healthy Korean habit, if I was commenting on the average American diet it most likely wouldn't be as innocent.

P.S. - If you like the "Evolution of Revolution" posting you should go back and check out the reader comments.

Happy Thanksgiving

I was lucky enough to talk to my family over the internet yesterday. On Thanksgiving weekend, while the rest of my family gathered in Tennessee, I was able to join them from my couch in South Korea. Thanks to a free phone call from my computer, over the internet, using Skype I was able to see and talk with them as if I was there. Well, as if I was there and my eyes worked like an old vhs camcorder. But it's amazing the things we can do today. Thanksgiving is a day we are supposed to give thanks for all that we have and sometimes you don't realize what you have until you step away from it. You don't have to step away as far as South Korea, but I've gained a little more perspective of what I have and I would like to give thanks to some (impossible to do all) of those things today.

1. I am thankful for a family that loves me, and not just my direct family but all of my extended family and close friends. I was amazed to hear about Owen Wilson's suicide attempt a number of weeks back. I couldn't believe that someone with everything, who all the world loved for no other reason than simply being himself could want to end it all. His act made me realize, more than ever, that you can have everything, anyone you want, the adoration of millions, but it's nothing if you don't have people close to you who you love, and who love you. Your family should love you not because you are handsome or pretty, or funny or smart, or rich and famous but just because you are you; for that is something that will never fade.

2. I am thankful for my blog readers. :) Haha, obviously this is a bit of kissing up, but since most of the people who read this blog are my family, maybe it's not so ridiculous that this is so high on my list. But honestly, everyday I check to see how many people have visited my blog and it brings a smile to my face. Rachel and I argue over who has visitors from eccentric countries. It's inspiring to think that anyone would want to read the writing of a normal guy from Jersey. But thank you to those who do. I will try my best to keep you up to date on what I'm up to, while doing what I can to make you laugh, think, and feel entertained. Special thanks to my readers who have added their names and pictures to my map.

3. I am thankful for having a good job. Shinjin has really embraced me and made me feel comfortable in a foreign land. My job affords me a nice apartment, food, all of the essentials of life, vacations, and the luxury of not being able to understand all of the office gossip.

4. I am thankful for being an American. If you're Canadian, that doesn't mean I'm happy that I'm not from somewhere else. I just think we should all be happy about where we came from...if we were lucky enough to be born free. Korea is one of the countries still trying to hold onto the idealistic view of America: the land of opportunity, freedom, and equality. And while the rest of the world may have forgotten that America, I'm proud that my country was once the place for the whole world to go for a second chance at life. I look forward to the day we can be that place again too.

5. I'm thankful for double stuffed Oreo's...need I say more?

6. I am thankful for being able to work in two of the most expensive cities on the planet, New York City and Seoul. I am truly spoiled in that matter.

7. I am thankful for today, tomorrow and yesterday.

8. I am thankful for sports.

9. I am thankful for Halloween; a day when men can dress like morons and women can dress like their naughty fantasies and no one is looked down upon.

10. I am thankful...very thankful.




What are you thankful for?

From Me to You

Since I was elated with the number of responses to my last posting I thought I'd treat you all. I know, I know, I shouldn't, it was your pleasure, but your kind actions compel me to return the favor.
This past weekend was the lone long weekend of the Korean school year calendar, it was for "Chusok" or Korea's equivalent to Thanksgiving. In the spirit of Chusok I got a gift from the school and I wanted to share it with you. That is my gift to you, "showing you my Chusok gift." Yea, it doesn't sound like much, but what were you expecting? An official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle? No way... You'd shoot your eye out. And being that you need your eyes to read this blog, I thought I'd spare you.
Now feast your eyes upon this, safe, extraordinary gift:
Yeah, if you're like me you might be thinking something like "They gave me a briefcase? Why would I want a huge briefcase like that?"
Then I picked it up and realized the case wasn't the present, there was something inside. But what was it?

Now I don't know what the heck it is. What can be in this huge box?

I finally open it and think, "Oh, they got me a coffee table. That's so weird but really nice." Now I'm not nervous anymore, but exited to see what's inside.

Upon closer inspection it was not a briefcase, or a coffee table, it was instead...Spam. Spam and tuna, and some cooking oil too. Every teacher in the school got Spam as a gift for Chusok. Not exactly what we give out on Thanksgiving, but it was still a nice gesture.
I hope you all enjoyed the gift, and can all give thanks to everything and everyone you have. I'll have more on the weekend coming up soon.

A Day To Remember Why America is Wicked Sweet

Today is not a normal day. Today is my good friend Mike Bewalder's birthday, but sadly, whenever I hear "September 11th" the first thing I think about is not him growing a year older, as it should be, but instead my head swirls with the images, thoughts, and memories of that day. It is almost that simple to reference...That day.
Remembering 9-11 in a way that enriches your life, and the way you live it day to day, will always be a good thing. If we can learn from those who lost there lives because they were targeted as symbols of what we all stand for, we can honor them. Nearly 3,000 people were murdered on this day 6 years ago because they were in America, living the American dream, flying the friendly skies, or defending our freedoms. It is in honor of those victims at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and on the tragic flights, that today I would like to remind everyone why I think America is so special. Here is a top ten list of the things I miss about the United States of America after 6 months in South Korea:

10. You don't run into Canadians everywhere.
9. There is a diverse population. It is a place where I'm not stared at because I look different.
8. You don't have Korean men telling you that you are handsome all the time.
7. I don't perpetually speak in baby talk. People can actually understand what I'm saying...most of the time.
6. Hamburgers, hot dogs, and weekend barbeque's.
5. Long weekends. The Korean education system seems to not have fully grasped this concept, I mean, who wants a Thursday or a Tuesday off when Friday and Monday are starring you right in the face!
4. Not worrying about mosquito bites when you go to sleep. It's not so bad for me, but seeing the insane number of bites on my friends, coworkers, and students, I still have a bit of insomnia.
3. Going out with my friends, or even just talking to them, or laughing with them.
2. The Jersey shore. Yes, I went to Thailand but I still miss that "No Fun beach" and the crazy weekends there.
1. American football. Yup, this is ranked higher than my friends, and higher than my family (which didn't even make the list, sadly) but for good reason. Let me explain.

Football is America. We like to think we have freedoms that the rest of the world doesn't, we like to think we have a government for the people, that we're the home of the brave, and all that jazz. But honestly, we just have football.
Go ahead and think of a time where you can picture a lot of people having fun. I've come up with the completely erroneous number of 95.8 percent of the people reading this just pictured themselves either at a football game, watching a football game, or playing a football game. I know I did.

Sports make people happy, and that is what America is truly about, "the pursuit of happiness". Of course life and liberty work themselves in there somewhere, but almost everyone has life, and I don't even think we have liberty anymore, so it all boils down to football, or I mean happiness... whatever.

When Joe Shmo can't talk about Bush's international policy, or find America on a map, I'll bet 10 to 1 he can come up with Tom Brady's completion percentage. Some people get more excited or more devastated by sports than anything else in their lives. And what is the best and most popular sport in the world? You said it...Futbol.
Wait...what's futbol you ask? It is the most popular sport in the world, but we Americans refer to it as Soccer. This is where the ingenious ingenuity (can those words be used together like that?) of the American mind shines so brightly. We took what the rest of the world loves more than life itself, their "happiness", and changed it's name to soccer, which sounds a lot like sucker, which has the root word of "suck". As in "this sport sucks". Accident? I think not. Then on top of that, we made up our own game, and just slapped their cherished name on it as if we knew it was even better than the reigning "best sport" right from the start. Well, they were right. Over a hundred years later those Americans seem to have had the best case of foresight I've ever heard of.

America may have a lot of things that other countries don't but over here in Korea I can keep in touch with friends and family, I can go eat a McDonald's cheeseburger, or a pizza, I can have a beer, get a job, support myself financially, and over all, live a pretty good life. But one thing I can't do is watch football.

I am not in America today, and with the football season starting it reminds me more than ever of what I'm missing. I hope this posting made you laugh, but if not, I hope it at least made you realize there are some things we all take for granted. Life is short, too short, so enjoy what you've got because even if all seems lost, you've still got football, while I'm over here stuck with suck...er.

P.S. - I actually like soccer.

Mud Fest '07

While some people might "take it easy" or relax a little after returning from a trip like mine to France, I did not. My first weekend back in Korea I had plans to attend the 9th annual Boryeong Mud Festival, and I was not going to miss it. So while my body was still confused as to whether it was on Korean time or French time I totally threw it off by staying up all night partying on the beach.
What is a Mud Festival? Well, I guess it kind of explains itself, huh? People get together and play in the mud, what more do you need to know. However, this isn't just any mud festival, it's a Korean mud festival and now that I've been here in Korea for over 4 months I can tell you a little bit more about the history of the event.

It was made for foreigners, by foreigners, to make money off of foreigners, and to spite foreigners all at the same time. In case you didn't know, when I go outside my house here for shopping, school, or just to visit the mall, I am the only white person. Check that, I'm the only non-Asian person. I don't see any whites, blacks, or Latinos, coloreds or albinos, it's just thousands of Asians and me; the tall, bald headed white guy. However, at Mud Fest, I was just another muddy body in the crowd, and it was great.

I think every foreigner in the country might have been there, which means roughly around thirty of us, for one day, became best friends. That is of course besides the US Military personnel that also invaded the beach that day, I'm leaving them out because they're not really foreigners. They spend most of their time on US land in Korea, and from the ones I met, I wish they would have stayed there.

No offense to the military, but the ground force of 12 that took the beach by train that day, were not so ummmm, stealth? They sat only a few seats from us on the 3 hour train ride there. They initially gave up their location with loud cheers, usually having to do with some sort of alcohol. Upon further inspection the 'no neck' look, that is so hot in the military right now, gave away a few others in the surrounding brush areas. Not like they were blending in with their surroundings anyway (12 large, loud, drunk, round-eyed, whites amongst a train of Koreans), but they were in uniform too. Not a uniform I'd ever seen before, but black shirts with an odd hand signal pictured on them with the word "Shocker" in bold letters below. Undoubtedly, this must have been some sort of search and destroy souvenir battle t-shirt they all got after boot camp, but they all wore it proudly, like an American beacon of light. Yet, as if all those things weren't enough, the kicker was the game they played on that fateful day our paths crossed. The game was called "celebrities", yup "CELEBRITIES", where the ummm (cough, cough) challenge of the game was to name a celebrity. The only thing more sad than the fact that people actually got kicked out of this game for not being able to think of a celebrity was that when the name "Barack Obama" came up, these fine military personnel couldn't get 2 people out of the group of 12 to corroborate who he was, what he did, and thus his status as a celebrity was denied. I thought about stepping in at this moment, but the rules were clearly stated only minutes earlier during an argument about "ODB" (aka Dirt McGirt) and well I'm not one for breaking the rules, or showing off, so I decided to stay out of it.
The weekend was great though. We met a new friend, Alex from Iowa, and also met up with our old friends from Gumi. We played in the mud, ate, drank, and shot off fireworks. And even though I now have a burnt hole in the back of one of my favorite shirts, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Now after all that, maybe now...it's time to relax.
More Mud Fest Pics Here

Parlay voo France?

I have been a little busy, and definitely slacking on the blogging, I'm sorry to anyone who is listening. Between teaching a few hours a day, eating, and sleeping I haven't been able to fit it in.
I know what you are thinking "my life is a constant trial". We should all be so lucky.
Either way, tomorrow I'm off to France. If you didn't know it, my older brother Kevin is tying the knot, and I will be in France for about 1 week enjoying all of the wedding festivities. Let me get the obvious questions out of the way:
1. No my family is not French
2. No we do not have any family in France
3. Because Kevin and Susie love to travel, and a friend offered a beautiful house in the French countryside as a venue for the wedding, as a wedding gift. So they took it. Who else has the option to get married in France? Wouldn't you?

If you don't know that much about France let me catch you up. I'm some sort of an expert on the subject because I've been eating French toast since the age of 3. Yup, that's right, my parents trained me to be cultured starting from a very young age. Muchos Grachas, Mamaia and Fadre.
The french eat a lot of fries. I think McDonald's might even be French for really, really, ridiculously good French fries. Wait...no yup, that's right. The French are also very sexual beings. They are always singing love songs, and when they aren't singing they smoke, and blow heart rings out of there mouths (some of the talented smokers, or as I kindly like to refer to them as "Le Smokairs", shoot arrows through the rings). They also invented kissing. Well, that's not entirely true, just a new twist on something that was getting a bit "old hat". But being that a child could read this, I will not go into details on that. Well, that's the long and short of it I think. I'm sure I will go to France, drink lots of wine, kiss many women, and eat lots of fries and toast. It will be a trip to remember, and I'll make sure to blog about it when I return, even though I think I've already covered everything pretty clearlyjust now.
Oh, and I have a stop-over in Moscow too, but I'll tell you more about the bitter cold drunks of Russia another day. Wee wee.

Fun Fact #2

Interestingly enough, I thought this fun fact, while partly inappropriate, needed to be shared with the rest of the world. It deals with Korean body odor. They don't have any. Their food can smell like a month old corpse, their streets can (and commonly do) smell like sewers, but their bodies don't seem to smell at all. I don't know how it's done, but from my experience it seems to be true. Mindy swears to me that some people on the subway stink like feces, well that's how I described the people who smelt on New York subways, and she concurred with my assessment. But that only goes to show you that you cannot make broad sweeping comments about a group of people, but that's exactly what I'm doing. Heck, they don't even sell deodorant at supermarkets, but they really don't need to. It's not a problem.

I believe it is due to the healthiness of the Korean diet. But what scares me is how bad Americans can smell when we go for a 10 minute jog. How gross must our diets be for us, when even after putting on plenty of deodorant, we still stink when we're done. As much as a good diet is important in America, who ever thinks about a diet that might make you smell better? No one, but apparently it's out there.

With all that being said, you can see the western foods creeping in on Korean society. McDonald's is always filled with young children and I fear that in the years to come, the good smelling Korean will become a thing of the past. But if that is true, we will always have it down in writing here, that at one point, this was the way it was.