BREAKING NEWS: Korean Doctors Study Shows "Kimchi Cures Death"

Unbelievable as it may seem, Korea has been sitting on the answer to life's nagging little problem, death, for thousands of years, but has shared their secret with no one outside of this little peninsula. Today I will break the silence and divulge to the rest of the world what Korea knows to be true.

The secret to immortality isn't found in some fantastical, story book fountain or potion, it doesn't come from the bite of your everyday vampire, and it certainly doesn't come from some outlandish story about drinking from a "holy grail" (where do we come up with this stuff?). Nope, while those crazy ideas have absolutely no basis in reality, science, or fact, Korea knows what truly brings eternal life... 3 daily servings of Kimchi.

Right about now you're probably scratching your head thinking "what's this crazy concoction called Kimchi?". Or if your Korean, and powers of English alliteration lag slightly, your probably just nodding your head with agreement and pride, while gulping down some homemade Kimchi. Kimchi is fermented cabbage (sometimes radish or other vegetables) made with a mix of garlic, salt, vinegar, chili peppers, and spices. It is a reddish color but countless different types exist because of the varying choices of vegetable, and amounts of seasonings that can be added. However, this accepted definition of Kimchi doesn't even come close to telling the whole truth (and nothing but the truth so help me Kimchi) about this ancient culinary delight.

Where do I start? First, some ideology:

A few posts back I commented about American life being one in the same with American Football, you can not tell the two apart. Well, in Korea they don't have football, they have Kimchi. In one of my Korean history books page one starts with Kimchi, and pictures of Kimchi appear on pages 1 through 3. Korea has a Kimchi museum (see the picture).It has been around for nearly 3000 years, eaten and written about in ancient scribes (probably at the same time). Some stories tell of it parting the Yellow sea so Koreans could leave China, while other stories have it at the center of the big bang theory. It is so ingrained with Korean lifestyle that when posing for pictures they say "Kimchi" to get themselves to smile.

Now some facts:

Kimchi is served with every meal. That's right, breakfast, lunch and dinner; Kimchi, Kimchi, Ka-ka-Kimchi, Yum! So if your from America, we can compare it to eating, well, nothing. Nobody eats something for nearly every meal of their entire life, in America. But imagine McDonald's fries had health benefits, there, it's something like that. Most Korean families make their own Kimchi. Koreans consume on average about 40lbs of Kimchi a year, and after some research I found that the average Korean weighs 40 pounds, making them not entirely carbon based life forms but partially Kimchi based side dishes.

Health Benefits:

After living in Korea for over 8 months now, I've come to realize that nearly all Korean foods are "good for stamina", so says Korean men. But Kimchi isn't like other foods, while being good for stamina, bragging about that would be like Micheal Jordan bragging that he can dunk on one of those little plastic children's basketball hoops. More impressively, it's loaded with vitamins A, B, and C, fibers and minerals such as calcium, thiamine, riboflavin and iron, it helps digestion, may delay the skin aging process, prevents yeast infections, retards cancer growth, protects against SARS, and most recently, DEATH.

All jokes aside, Kimchi is has been voted as one of the top 5 healthiest foods on the planet. I copied and pasted almost all of those health benefit facts above from reputable health websites. All Koreans and most ex-pats living in Korea end up loving it, and can't live without it. I'm sure Kimchi is a main reason why Koreans are so thin and healthy. That being said, I still can't stomach the stuff... but I didn't want to live forever anyway.
Don't wish me dead like Rachel is in this picture. I'm happy to make jokes about a healthy Korean habit, if I was commenting on the average American diet it most likely wouldn't be as innocent.

P.S. - If you like the "Evolution of Revolution" posting you should go back and check out the reader comments.

Fresh Fish! Fresh Fish!

To anyone who actually reads this drivel of mine I like to call a Blog, I am sincerely sorry for being out of touch for a week or so. If I had any readers I'm sure the numbers have plummeted to a lonely 1 or 2 of you. But for those lucky few of you that are still out there, I have some entertaining stories for you. So enough apologies and lets get down to business.
This past week or so has been a wonderful one. I need to start back on last Thursday. Some teachers were getting together to go out for a special dinner. It was only teachers that have desks in a certain area of the school; them and Me of course. My desk is not with theirs, but my presence seems to be wanted in every group, club, or social gathering at the school, and you will not hear one single complaint about that from me :) Well, with hindsight being 20-20, maybe I can find a tiny little grievance in there somewhere.
It all started out with an innocent little invitation, "Would you like to join us for dinner?" Who turns down dinner? Not me, not you, no one in there right mind. So of course I said "yes". Later I was told we were going to a wonderful "fresh fish" restaurant. Instantly my mind was filled with beautiful pictures of finely cooked salmon, lobster, and shrimp. All nicely cooked, seasoned, and presented. Well, that's what was in my mind up until the walk there. "Fresh fish" what does that mean to you? It's one of those moments where you hear what you want to hear. I heard "fresh fish" and thought about unrealistic western meals, when reality hit me on the walk to the restaurant... I wasn't surrounded by westerners who like what I like, I was walking with a bunch of Koreans who, day in and day out, eat things off our school lunch trays that I don't even allow the lunch ladies to place on mine. "Fresh Fish" all of a sudden sounded a lot more like "Raw Fish". If you are reading this thinking "Of course fresh fish meant raw fish, how could he have been so stupid" well then you are just sooooo smart. Pat yourself on the back, but when you eat from meal to meal not knowing if you're going to like what you get, you jump at the chance for a nice meal out (especially on someone else's bill), and it was that excitement that clouded my judgment. Silly me, maybe, but I think you might have made the same mistake.
So we arrive at the restaurant, and they bring out two huge plates of nicely cut raw fish. It actually looked quite delicious. The presentation was beautiful (sorry no pics though, my mind wasn't with me at the moment). It was small strips of three different kinds of fish all laid out together over a mound of clear noodles. I was almost eager to try it when Rachel dug in first. From her response I was able to figure out two things quickly: 1. The "clear noodles" are not clear noodles at all, but clear plastic that only look like noodles, and were just there for decoration, not digestion. And 2. This wasn't going to be an easy meal to swallow. I ended up wrapping the fish in lettuce, and gulping it down with only minor discomfort. I kept telling myself how much my brother and Jimmy would love this meal, and pay out the wazzoo for it in New York, and that I can like it too. But it had only just begun. After we had picked away at most of the pile of fish, they brought out some special dishes, or as I like to call them "vomit inducing" dishes. It was more raw fish, but with some extra gross added in. Me and Rachel tried some at the same time and nearly vomited in unison. The final portion of the meal was then ushered out and I was more then a little excited when I saw steam; steam meaning something had to be cooked. But then upon closer inspection I was grossed out for the third time. While the first two courses of the meal could not have been cut with a finer knife, or presented in a more appetizing way, this course appeared to have been prepared by a bear who mauled the fish to death before dropping them in a pot. I'm indebted to the bear for at least dropping them in the pot, but seriously, why can't they put the two together? Nicely cut fish, with boiling hot water...Wham! Cooked fish without bones, eyes, or scales. Nope, they had to go the other way, it has to be pretty and raw, or ugly and cooked, you can't have your cake and eat it too. (You can check out more pics on the Picasa Photo Album) But really, I'm one for making the best of a bad situation. I gathered up all of the uneaten fish from the first course and dunked it in the boiling hot soup. After only seconds me and Rachel were at long last able to enjoy our own wonderful little dinner of nicely cut, and cooked "Fresh Fish".